I’m sure you have all heard of Kate’s Spade death earlier this week. A fashion designer, style icon, businesswomen, influencer, mother, wife, daughter, etc. — she possessed so many jobs, titles, and adorers. People who thought she had achieved the clearest version of success. Even with all of this fame, money, and prestige living on this Earth was too painful for her.
Suicide is a last resort decision, one that I do not think it selfish at all. Imagine the pain someone must be experiencing if they think the only way to feel liberated, free, or at peace is by ending their own life. They possess so much suffering, agony, and misery that even the people in their life are not worth holding on for. I cannot even imagine the mental demons Kate Spade was facing, and I pray that no one has to experience something like that, but her death has allowed me to think about life.
Right now at this moment, I am 18-years-old, a sophomore in college, living away from my family, in a city that is hard to call home. Even after a year, I miss my childhood home, a place with burgundy bricks, open sidewalks, home cooked meals, and my family. I don’t think I will ever get over that phase of my life, though. A time when I was living every day one step at a time. Now, however, I think of my actions, purpose, and future — every single day.
When I read about Kate Spade’s death, I was sitting on my desk at my summer internship. At that moment, I was shocked and angry in a weird way. I was shocked because if a woman who everyone thought achieved supreme success could not continue to live a day in her life, how could anyone else? I was angry because I couldn’t believe she could leave behind her 13-year-old daughter. I am very sensitive in terms of children. The evilest thing someone can do is hurt a child, a person full of innocence, potential, and life, so when I read about her daughter being left behind I was mad.
After thinking my feelings though, I have come to many realizations. One thing, like I said, suicide is very personal. Someone who decides to take their own life is past everything else, and cannot bear to be conscious in this world for another second. The second thing I have learned is problems are temporary, but suicide is permanent. Kate Spade will never be able to design another handbag, hug her daughter, or blink her eye — she is gone, she is dead; now and forever. The third thing I have reflected on is that Kate Spade really did not have it all. She really had nothing — because if she did she could perhaps hold on longer, but she couldn’t.
We, as a society, possess a very narrow vision of success. To us, success is living in a big house, driving a nice car, going on fancy vacations, and wearing designer clothing. But is that really true?
We need to move passed the one-toned, singular definition of success because success comes in many different ways and forms. It is something that is subjective and can, therefore, not be generalized into one person’s status or experiences.
As I go back to my current life and remember my past, I want to continue to move forward and remind myself that while I miss the good old days; these days are also good. I have so much in my life, so much love and opportunity.
Live life now. Love life now. And remember that all forms of adversity are transient — everything is temporary, and when life feels low remember you have so much to live for.